Everything seemed to be going well, your meeting felt natural, you had a good feeling, this man seems interested… But it’s running out of steam and you can feel it. His interest is plummeting, without you knowing why.
Many factors can come into play, whether on your side or his. However, it is possible that, without wanting to, you are killing your seduction with small things. To help you get a clearer picture, discover the list of behaviors that kill your seduction.
You seem to be waiting in writing
We all don’t have the same relationships with messages. Some are constantly on their phones, and ready to answer you at any time, while others take several days to react. When you’re in a seduction phase with a man, there’s a middle ground to be found, especially in terms of your response time.
Without calculating the time to respond to a message, avoid jumping on your keyboard the second you have a response from him. If you start writing to him the moment he sends you a message (which he will see on his screen with “writing…” under your name), it gives the impression that you are waiting for his messages.
Not only could it be believed that you’re never busy, your phone always grafted to your hand, but also that you desperately want to start the conversation right away, as long as he’s behind his screen. Let your exchanges breathe. Take the time to answer. There are no rules to follow but let life orchestrate your answers. It will do good to your conversations which, tinged with expectation, will be more thoughtful and above all will create more tension.
You are too present online.
In line with the previous point, this advice refers to social media. As you can see, seduction also happens when you are not physically together. If you show too much presence on the social media account of the man you are barely seeing, you risk suffocating him. By this, I mean the fact of watching all his stories in the minute they are published and especially reacting to each of them, as well as to each of his posts… You do not give him the opportunity to think about you on his own, since you are everywhere all the time! If you combine this point with the previous one, you give the other person the feeling of being surrounded by your presence.
For those of us who have already been in the position where a man we were starting to see adopts this behavior, you know how it can be a love killer.
At first, the messages from the other make you happy, but quickly they become a source of anxiety because you know that as soon as you answer, he will jump on his phone to do the same, and to each of your posts, he will be the first to react.
It is not excluded that, over time and on the way to becoming a couple, you develop this level of complicity and exchange. However, in the seduction phase, this behavior amounts to suffocating the other a little. It does not leave room for natural discovery or anticipation. Yet it is essential, especially at the beginning. If the man you like has to wait a little to see you react, he will be even happier when you do.
You are proposing and re–proposing the dates.
I understand perfectly the desire to see things move forward and the feeling of “we are never better served than by ourselves”. If this strategy is extremely effective to initiate a meeting, you cannot be the only one sending energy to the other person and taking all the following initiatives.
It is important that a balance is created. Therefore, if you do not expect the man you are seeing to be as proactive in proposing dates, you could significantly reduce his desire. Again, you risk showing a desire for a date with him much greater than his. Of course, you should suggest dates. However, at some point it should come from him.
If this man cancels, do not rush to propose three new slots. No man is too shy, clumsy or stupid to not propose to meet a woman he likes, who he knows is interested and who has the coordinates to communicate. If he wants to see you again, he will know how to propose another date to you himself.
You are criticizing him for his unavailability.
The beginnings of a relationship are not always smooth sailing. Sometimes there are downturns where the other person is less available or less inclined to see you. If that is the case with the man you are starting to see and you are criticizing him for it, you are sending the wrong signals. It is natural to be frustrated in such a situation. And of course, you can express what you do not like.
However, criticizing him when you are just starting to date sends out the wrong message. You will be sending energy towards him telling him how his behavior displeases you, rather than redirecting that energy back to yourself and people who are taking the time for you.
At this stage, even if seeing him pull away is disappointing, try not to break down and criticize him as if he owes you something. To not ‘reward’ this behaviour by sending even more energy towards him, focus on other things for yourself, and even see other men to take your mind off it. This is the best way for him to see that he is losing you and to spontaneously reach out and suggest a date.
