You feel lonely
Sometimes we feel like there’s “nothing to sink our teeth into,” that all the interesting guys are already taken, and we’re not meeting anyone inspiring enough. This can be compounded by social pressure, family inquiries, friends getting married one after another, etc. All these things have an impact on us and tend to increase our sense of loneliness. If the desire to get back with your ex arises during these moments, then it’s probably not a good idea. In fact, getting together with anyone in these circumstances is a bad idea. When we feel lonely, we often lack discernment. Getting involved with someone new in these circumstances is risky, but at least you have a chance to experience something different and possibly viable. However, going back to your ex will likely lead you back into the same problems that caused you to separate in the first place.
You had good reasons to break up
The phrase “it was better before” is familiar to you, right? It’s normal because the human brain works that way! Over time, it only remembers the best. The more time passes, the harder it is to recall the difficult moments you went through with your ex and, especially, how you felt. It’s similar to trying to describe a stomach ache once it’s gone! Hence, it’s why many of us give our exes another chance. The good times come to the surface, and the bad ones seem trivial. Nostalgia catches up with us, a few coincidences encourage us to make contact, and there you go! However, you definitely separated for a reason! Try to remind yourself of that reason, really remember what happened, how you felt, the image it reflected of you, and the impact it had on your life, etc.
The breakup devastated you
Some breakups are more painful than others. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean that those relationships were meant to work. It’s more likely that it highlights a form of emotional dependency that may not have been healthy. If you’ve managed to overcome the stage of the breakup and are considering getting back with your ex, think about the fact that you are jeopardizing your peace and well-being.
Trust has been shattered
If your breakup is related to betrayal, it is even more discouraged to get back with your ex. Once trust is broken, it is very difficult to rebuild. You may end up living in a constant state of turmoil in this situation. Both of you will constantly be walking on eggshells and on the lookout for any misstep.
Because it wouldn’t be the first time
Unfortunately, some couples have trivialized breakups. I imagine that even if you haven’t experienced it yourself, you certainly know someone trapped in a relationship marked by breakups and reconciliations. Needless to say, this never bodes well in the long run. If you are in this situation, it is important to take a step back and consider why you separate from your ex only to get back with them. The goal should be to break the cycle: either separate for good or truly make the relationship work!
You have evolved… but not changed!
Sometimes, because time has passed and we have each gone our separate ways, we tend to think that the moment has come to get back with our ex. However, deep down, even if your situations may have changed and you have surely evolved, it’s highly likely that you will find yourselves facing the same issues together. I remember a few years ago, I wanted to get back with my ex. For a long time, that relationship had been the most significant for me, and secretly, I thought we would eventually reunite for our happy ending. However, every time I contacted him, I realized that on his side, things were only getting worse. By “things,” I mean his choices, his life, himself. He was evolving, yes, but in a negative way. Meanwhile, I felt fulfilled in my own life and was happy with the direction I was taking. Yet, I was still in love with him. Not with the current version of who he was, but with the version of him from the past and the one I had imagined he would become. I had to confront who he truly was at that moment. It was what allowed me to realize that no, it wasn’t what I wished for myself, that I couldn’t afford to let him back into my life, and that I simply had to mourn him, truly and once and for all. It was only from there that I could truly open myself up to other beautiful relationships!
