Does he really care about me? … You’re having a hard time figuring out if he’s leading you on or if he’s genuinely interested? I’m going to give you the tools that will allow you to read the interest of the men you’re dating in the future.
Recently, one of the subscribers to my Club wrote to me completely disoriented because the man she was seeing was sending mixed signals, blowing hot and cold. She even started questioning herself and couldn’t distance herself enough from the situation.
This kind of thing happens frequently, and I genuinely want to help you once and for all to detect a man’s interest and stop wasting your time with someone who, deep down, isn’t interested in you, or at least not in creating a real relationship, the one you expect. Because yes, it’s never all black or all white, a man can be “a little” interested.
If everyone played fair and revealed their intentions from the first meeting, love stories would be much less chaotic, and you would avoid many pitfalls. Unfortunately, with everyone wanting to benefit from relationships in different ways , you find yourself chasing after someone who has no intention and will never intend to build a serious relationship with you.
Contrary to what you think, there are signals that show this lack of interest if you know where to look.
What is your behavior with this man?
You’re waiting and thinking about this relationship many times throughout the day. You wonder if you should follow up with him, bring up engaging topics of conversation, call him, or suggest something. In short, your mind is racing, this guy is at the center of your thoughts, and you’re organizing your schedule and all your actions around him because you wouldn’t want to miss an evening with him.
You’re not making any plans, or you cancel the ones you had planned in order to see him because you don’t know when it will happen again.
This kind of behavior should alert you. You don’t have to stop your life or revolve around one person with whom you’re not even in a relationship yet. Firstly, for your mental health, and secondly, because it automatically puts you in a position of neediness that diminishes your value in the eyes of men.
You’re the only one initiating conversations, and he only responds to what you say. You choose the activities and the places where you meet. You ask him about his availability while he doesn’t ask about yours (except late at night or on weekends). In short, you’re taking a lot of initiatives, but it’s always one-sided.
He makes very few moves towards you, is very busy, and doesn’t initiate much contact with you.
Even at the beginning of a relationship, there should be a balance! Know this, if you’re carrying your relationship on your shoulders from the start, there’s a problem. Someone who shows interest in you will never let you do all the work.
How to interpret his behavior?
He doesn’t spend much time with you and doesn’t try to adjust his schedule to see you. Unless he’s preparing for an entrance exam to Sciences Po, this behavior is very revealing. He doesn’t prioritize you!
He takes a long time to respond and sometimes goes several days before giving any sign of life. You often find yourself on your phone, eagerly awaiting his messages, and you ask your friends if it’s normal or if you’re being too needy. You’re unsure what to think, and then suddenly he sends you a short, “adorable” message accompanied by a multitude of emojis: ❤ 🐣 😘
And there, you put all your doubts aside and eagerly prepare to respond.
You don’t want to do it right away to avoid appearing needy. At the same time, you’re dying to confront him about his absence and understand what’s keeping him so occupied and preventing him from being more present.
Where you think you’re receiving attention, the reality is quite different because he has actually invested a mere 5 seconds of his time (including screen activation) to contact you and maintain your level of interest. He didn’t need to think about it or prepare it; the level of investment couldn’t be any lower for a guy.
To summarize, this man is elusive, and you’re unable to make progress. Want me to tell you something? Something is not right, and it’s not about you, but about him.
This man occasionally sends you signs of attention for the following reason: he needs to rebalance the scale. He knows that by pulling too hard on the rope, it will eventually break, and you’ll get tired. You’ll move on and realize that he’s not TRULY interested.
I’m going to reveal a male secret.
No man wants to be completely single without any opportunities, female attention, or companionship. So, he keeps a door open for lonely nights or to sleep with you. And all of this with minimal investment.
Why you need to know how to say stop?
Your attitude is toxic for yourself for several reasons:
Loss of energy and brainpower spent thinking about a relationship that brings you nothing positive.
You start losing confidence in yourself because you feel like you’re not worthy of interest.
Missed opportunities, with your friends and even with other men who could give you the interest you deserve.
You give him the right to mistreat you by settling for sporadic little attentions.
Stuck in a dead-end relationship, and deep down, you know it.
What does an interested man do?
An interested man will send you energy, take actions for you, and come towards you. But never forget that a man’s actions have much more value than his words. He can say whatever he wants. However, he will only act for a woman he truly wants in his life.
In your interpretation, it should never be those quick texts and messages that replace the reading of the true signals, which are as follows:
Wants to spend more time with you.
Considers you a priority (you gradually rise in his list).
He is creative, thinking about where to invite you and what he wants to do with you.
A man who has an interest in you will be in progression. Then he will want to see you more and more often. He will even talk to you just to say nothing because he wants your attention and test your interest in him. It is important that you internalize all of this and never forget your worth.
You are worth much more than a few scattered messages here and there.
I no longer want you to lose time, energy, and your own self-esteem because of these types of behaviors that you accept.
Don’t waste your time trying to convert an uninterested man.
