Too many people in relationships forget the supportive role they have to play and that their romantic relationship is meant to evolve. Being together is not just about sharing an apartment, a sexuality, and outings. It is above all about harmony, an association of two individuals who are there to move forward together in good and bad times!
The lover in the beginning
At the start of the relationship, seeing the other person is synonymous with excitement, butterflies in the stomach, and the promise of a good time! Initially, we mainly appreciate each other’s presence, the act of getting to know and understand each other. Therefore, we usually maintain our independence in terms of personal projects, goals, and habits. The relationship gradually settles in and finds its place in our daily lives.
Towards a deeper relationship
The next stage, although it may not follow this exact order for all couples, involves building a friendship within the relationship. We share everything on a daily basis—our little anecdotes of the day, various troubles, and adventures! Gradually, we merge with each other; they become our confidant and best friend. They are our reference point and become somewhat of a refuge. Typically, as the relationship evolves, its influence on us grows. We increasingly share our mindset and perspective with each other. In serious discussions, we truly confide in and share more with one another. Additionally, when the relationship faces challenges, they have an even greater impact on us and can sometimes disrupt other aspects of our lives. It could be a one-night crisis resulting in significant fatigue the next day when we have an important appointment, for example.
Become partners: Align your visions
It is particularly in such situations that it is important to create a true partnership within the couple. Love for each other should remain the guiding principle, even during crises. Every relationship has its ups and downs. If we are determined to make the journey together, we must learn to think beyond the crisis. One crucial step is defining the vision you have for yourself, for your relationship, and for the future. Ideally, you should have developed a shared vision. What do you expect from your relationship? From the future? For yourselves? Once you have the answers to these questions, work together!
Work hand in hand
Working together may be one of the greatest challenges in a romantic relationship. It means truly having in mind that you are “together.” By that, I mean, “we are here for each other, even when we can’t stand each other.” It requires learning to set aside quarrels during important moments. I remember a situation when my partner and I were upset with each other, and yet, in the middle of the week, he came to console me at 3 a.m. over a work issue, putting a truce to our coldness and sacrificing his sleep. One of the primary requirements is learning to trust each other enough to give the necessary space for individual growth. We don’t all have the same needs when it comes to time spent as a couple, with friends, at work, etc. It’s about finding a balance that suits both of you, but above all, supporting each other in all circumstances. Keeping in mind that the other person’s interest is also our own. Furthermore, the more we pull someone towards us… the more they tend to pull away! Learn to postpone a quarrel if one of you has a pressing matter afterwards, for example! Prioritize with a long-term vision. The idea is not to minimize potential couple problems, on the contrary, but to take the time to address them with sufficient perspective and, above all, at the right moment. This will prevent you from addressing them in the heat of the moment and exacerbating the situation!
Grow together
Another way to be partners is through your activities and passions! When two people meet, there is an exchange of experiences and knowledge. Why not take advantage of that? There are many things you can learn to do together as well. When we met, my partner was already a big advocate of personal development, while I knew nothing about it! She kindly introduced me to this world through books, conferences, and her passion. I loved it so much that it is now the field I work in with love! In the other direction, at the beginning of our relationship, I decided to take better care of my body. She wasn’t very inclined to join me at first, but seeing the benefits, She quickly joined in! In the end, both of us developed new exercise and dietary habits. Don’t hesitate to seek help together when facing differences: a book like “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is a great ally. Depending on the issues you encounter, refer to the corresponding chapter, read it individually, and then discuss it together!
