How to make men you’re interested in want a serious relationship with you? It’s a question I’m often asked, and there seems to be a lot of confusion about what men want and what makes them commit and fall in love. Today, I’ll shed light on the different signals that should alert you and help you avoid falling into the “casual fling” category, which may not align with your expectations (assuming why you’re reading this article).
Maintain control in the seduction process
The most common mistake I see is a change in your attitude towards the man you’ve just met. Be careful not to confuse expressing your personality with expressing excessive interest in him. Do you like him? Great! However, stay true to yourself, don’t play a role, don’t try too hard to please him, don’t accept all his propositions, and don’t let him make all the decisions regarding the meeting place, date, time, activity, etc. Don’t accept things you would have refused if your level of interest wasn’t so high.
When meeting new people several times a month or week, it’s easy to fall into the same patterns. Break his routines, play on your uniqueness. The mistake would be to assume that the man you’re seeing will automatically fall in love and see all your qualities at first glance. Only you know them, you’re still an unknown entity to him, so you need to reveal your best self and take the time to get to know each other to build an attachment. Many men initially have a physical attraction to women they invite on dates. It’s up to you to show him who you really are!
Dates to avoid
Not all date proposals are equal. I want to draw your attention to the days on which these dates are suggested. When a man invites you on a Sunday or Monday night (which are evenings when we’re rarely very active), it means he’s keeping the other evenings of the week for other dates or hanging out with friends, engaging in his activities. In short, you’re not a priority in his schedule. Avoid accepting this type of invitation, just like those sent via text on weekdays at 8 p.m. If it happens, don’t take offense and suggest another date during the following week.
These invitations demonstrate a lack of anticipation and interest in you. A man who truly wants to see you won’t make last-minute proposals because he’ll be afraid you already have other plans. Similarly, you have the dates that take place near his place or directly at his place (even though it should happen sooner or later, your meetings shouldn’t be confined to his apartment only). The same applies to long-distance relationships when he lets you come to see him without making the effort to come to you.
Carefully analyse his level of interest
Some messages in writing should also alert you to his level of interest. In coaching sessions, I sometimes see people completely misinterpret the messages they receive. The truth is, sending a text or an emoji requires very little energy. It’s the minimal investment a man can make. Moreover, the strategy behind it, conscious or not, is to give you the bare minimum of interest, just enough to redirect your energy towards him and allow him to continue seeing you without committing.
Also, pay attention to cancellations or rescheduling of dates with “lame” excuses. A man who is interested in you will do everything in his power to see you, so forget about excuses like, “I’m too tired, can we do it another time?” or “Something came up last minute” or “I forgot I had something planned tonight.” Once again, let’s bring in Jessica Alba! Do you think a man would cancel a date with her because he’s tired? I don’t think so. 😅
I have no intention of painting a negative picture of men and dating. As you’ve understood, it’s the accumulation of these different behaviors and their recurrence that should alert you. Don’t jump to the conclusion that a man isn’t interested in you just because he once suggested a Sunday date! In the early stages of a relationship, men are attracted to what they see, and your personality isn’t yet a part of that. I reveal more on this topic in my course on “Becoming the One He Wants Something Serious With.”
